Happy Birthday Cedric – “How does it feel?”

Turning 30 brought a very interesting insight. Namely how insignificant it really is. Everyone makes a big deal out of it, most of them with a negative spin of it, but also in a positive way: “Turning 30 is the best!” which is what I’ve been saying to everyone. Truth be told, though, I don’t really care at all. I don’t feel any different, I don’t look any different and even if I did it really has nothing to do with the number that Facebook tells me is the amount of years I’ve been alive.

Time is just something that flows. It happens to only flow in one direction (as far as we’re able to perceive anyway) but it’s a flow, nothing more. We want to make everything ‘mean’ something, especially age. But if you think about it, there are multiple people in the world who don’t know their exact age and also people who thought they knew their exact age but later found out they were wrong. To them, things wouldn’t have been any different if they had known the correct age all along and the difference only comes in when ego does.

Ego, in the most superficial sense of the word, makes us vain and petty. Which is perfectly fine if it only affects us personally, but when it starts affecting others I think it becomes a malady of the worst kind. We treat others differently because of their age, and sometimes we change the way we look at and interact with people when we find out their age to the polar opposite of what we used to. It’s a ridiculous behaviour and the only reason we do it is because of the aforementioned ego.

30 years of age does look pretty cool though, I must say. I am happier now than I was at 20 and I feel more stable – emotionally, mentally and physically – than I did at 25. I feel like I’m on the right path of doing the right thing with my life and I’m in touch with my emotions in a way that I have never been before.

This has, however, nothing to do with me turning 30. It’s because of my process that I started before I turned 30. The most significant change I have ever gone through, before or after, happened when I was 27 and 28. Does that mean that 27 and 28 are the ages of insight and enlightenment, overall? Of course not. I know 60 year olds who are more witless and immature than my brother was at 18. The old cliche, “age is just a number” is more true than one would think. We usually use it to rationalise why someone is dating another person where the age gap is considered too much. But it actually holds truth in the most fundamental parts of life as well.

Life is just life and how old you are has no meaning. If anything has meaning (and I’m not saying this has) it would be what you do with the time you have.

Being afraid of a number is the silliest thing in the world and we don’t even know why we are nor can we even see that we are, most of the times. Every time someone has asked me before and after turning 30 “how it feels” the only thing they do is project their own fear of aging unto me. It sounds a bit harsh, but that’s what I see. I don’t mean everyone is afraid but most all people that has asked me has had that look in their face that tells me they want me to validate their fear with telling them how I also fear aging.

Fear of age is just an extension of our fear of death, which in itself is just an extension of fear of nothingness – of nonbeing.

If you don’t have the latter, you don’t have the former. It’s really as simple as that.

Remember your death – Memento Mori

Love,
Cedric

Happy New Year and Life

The new year is around the corner. It’s truly an amazing time to be alive, I think. Technology is ever pushing the frontiers, relationships are always fluent and our joint struggle to find purpose in this life is an ongoing battle against fear.

I believe that everything we want can be attained through passion, hard work and perseverance. The former of which is the key-component – the foundation – upon which the rest of the structure is build. Passion is hard to cultivate and, for most of us, feels always beyond our reach. The trick is that there is no trick, to become passionate. The way I am nowadays is often looked upon with either admiration or some form of contempt. In both cases the label of ‘luck’ is usually placed on it. Which is true and it isn’t. Let me explain.

My optimism and sense of passion and purpose doesn’t come from DNA or anything like that. It came from having put conscious attention on my own thoughts and beliefs – still does to some degree; I spent years sorting through my own toxic thoughts attempting to get to ‘the truth’, whatever that was. So in that sense, it’s not luck that made me this way.

On the other hand, I do consider myself extremely lucky and continuously thank the universe/God/The Force for my good fortunes. I believe that whatever all-encompassing force put the path in front of me did so for a reason and for that I’m eternally grateful. I am truly blessed. But so are we all. Which leads me to the point of this post.

At the time of this writing, there are a few hours left until the stroke of midnight on Dec. 31, 2016. I see a lot of posts on social media belittling New Years Resolutions and the vane attempts we make to motivate ourselves and feel a small sense of purpose; it seems like it’s more commonplace to dislike New Years Resolutions than it is to actually make them. I believe everyone should make them. So since you’re here, reading this – whenever you’re reading it – take a minute before continuing to make a vow to yourself. Not something you want to achieve, fuck that, but rather something you want to become“Who do you want to be?” rather than “What do I want to do?”

You done? No? Ok, I’ll give you a few more minutes…

So now that you’ve done that you should really start working towards that. Are you working in the place you want to work? Are you having the relationships you want to have? Are you providing as much help/love as you can? Are you expressing gratitude? Am I being my truest self, in all situations?

Of course, these are just examples and things that drive me. They are my north pole, especially the last one.

When working towards a goal that one is passionate about motivation is the easiest thing in the world to attain. We don’t need anyone to tell us to get up and smile and repeat gratitude affirmations in the mirror every morning, we just have it.

Everything comes from inside…everything! And if we really want something we will go for it. That’s how we differentiate between authentic desires vs. inauthentic desires, the former is easy to get to, because we stop caring about the hard part of working towards it.

All energy, motivation, happiness, gratitude, love comes from inside. We don’t get it, we GENERATE it.

Generate some happiness in the new year and share it with others. Since you’re here, reading this I can only assume you like something about my blog. Try taking my advice this time and do something about your life. Complaining doesn’t solve anything.

I love you all! Happy new LIFE!

Cedric

Memento Mori – Remember death

Promote Gratitude and Love

Complaining is easy. That’s just the truth. If you are faced with something challenging or something that makes your comfort zone security system go off because it senses a threat, the absolute easiest road to go down is the complaint route. We don’t like change, that’s just a fact and we would do anything to avoid that change to happen if we had the motivation. In fact in my experience, I’ve noticed that people will spend more energy fighting the change than they would if they had just accepted it and went along with it.

When anything happen that we don’t like, we start telling everyone why it’s so bad and why we don’t like it. We like to say how the change is bad, but we aren’t creative enough to come up with a better solution ourselves.

Positivity is hard though. Finding acceptance and serenity in the change even though it would mean hard work or difficulty is where the hard part comes in. It’s so fucking easy to let negativity slip out of your mouth, but try saying something positive about the thing you don’t like…it’s not as easy.

Gratitude is they key component to sustained happiness. It doesn’t actually matter much to me if you’re faking it or if it’s genuine gratitude, fake it ’til you make it, and all that. I care about the giving, that’s the most important to me. Ask yourself, how am I giving the best of me to the people around me? How am I promoting the thing I claim to want the most, ‘happiness’? How am I living up to my own expectations? and so on. If you can’t answer any of these questions you know what you need to do.

Coincidentally in time for the holidays I started having thoughts about happiness and gratitude and how to share my love with people more. I’ve become a real gooey spiritual guy talking about loving unconditionally and all that crap. I’m fine with that though and I will gladly be that guy if that helps people.

Do me and yourself a favour, tell someone they are great, today. Tell someone they are beautiful. It’s so damned easy to say something good and make them smile.

I saw a post where a photographer did a “before and after” shoot of when he told people they were beautiful. The results brought tears to my eyes. In a world of so much insecurity, why not be controversial and not feed negativity with more negativity.

I know how this is starting to sound but I’m fine with that. If that’s the price I have to pay, and so on.

Try it for yourselves and you’ll see that it will make you happier as well. Giving without expecting anything in return is the best thing in the world.

Love,
Cedric

The 3 Components Of Learning

Passion is the number one thing that drives us. That much is pretty obvious sure, but one thing I have noticed recently is that people talk a good game about passion and how they love their whatevers, but when it actually comes down to it, they like it in spite of what it is rather than because of it. For example, a lot of people talk to me about loving their job and how it fulfills them, but they still have this rule that they don’t want to talk about work outside of the office. That’s perfectly fine, but for me – if I love something – I can’t stop thinking about it.

Presently, I’m sitting in my mum’s sofa writing this blog post next to my sleeping dog while my dad is in the kitchen cleaning up. I arrived here a couple of days ago and I still haven’t gotten used to being off. My mind keeps wandering back to work-related topics; “Maybe I should work on that powerpoint presentation.” “Wonder how the team is doing?” “Should I send them a Christmas card so that they know I’m still thinking about them?” and so on.

Almost everyone tells me that I should leave work at the office in order to keep sane and actually enjoy my time off. The thing is though, I love my job, meaning I truly enjoy working. “I love my job,” for me, means that I don’t just love it despite it being a job, I would rather be in the office than most other things. My job for me isn’t just ‘a good job’ it’s something that I’m extremely passionate about.

I received feedback from my last training class that I had and I was very touched by the lovely comments that I got (thanks guys, I love you!), and one thing that was said was that the person could tell that I really loved what I do. That’s exactly what I’m after, when I train people and it makes me feel fulfilled when I can see that my passion becomes contagious.

In one of my training modules I talk about Learning as a concept and – what I believe to be – the 3 keys of becoming good at anything.

  1. Passion
  2. Practice
  3. Patience

The number one thing is passion. I believe that in order to get good at anything we need to be passionate about it. Lacking that, something that is almost as powerful is being passionate about learning. If you are like me, and you think personal development is one of the keys of happiness, you will realize agree that passion doesn’t have to be about the topic itself but rather development as a concept.

Think of when you learned to ride a bike, sing, play a sport, whatever. You were passionate about learning that specific skill (and yes, riding a bike is a skill). Whatever your prime mover was – be it fear or love, doesn’t matter – you were passionate about it. Passion is just a fancy word for interest really and conveys a more intense level of love for said thing and you don’t really need to call it passion if you’re one of those people who are automatically resistant toward feel-good terms like ‘love’ and ‘passion’.

Number two is practice, which should go without saying, but the truth is people are egregiously inept at putting in the work for something. They want the quick fix and would rather fall for a scam marketing the ‘magic pill’ that will make them rich, handsome, skinny and movie star for just three simple payments. BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE order within 10 minutes and you get super powers as a bonus, worth $15 billion [Terms & Conditions may apply]. Or they will distract themselves with crap TV to be able to show off their ‘knowledge’ about which Kardashian is the most fabulous this week. To put it simply, people are fucking lazy. We would rather give up when we don’t see the results straight away than put in the good work. Which leads us to 3.

Number three is Patience which, if you’ve heard me talk about this subject, is where I can start coming off a bit contradictory. On the one hand I talk about being patience and the good results will come, but on the other I advocate having an extreme sense of urgency. For me these two don’t contradict each other because patience without practice doesn’t mean anything, we need to put in the work. So when I say have a sense of urgency I mean about starting the work. In what I train people to do it’s very easy, because you don’t really have a choice, but in order to improve you need to start thinking ahead; where will this current trajectory take me? Be smart about your work and you’ll accomplish a lot more than you thought possible.

I know I haven’t written in a while and I usually apologize for that, but this time I’m going to be up front and say, there are way better things to read on the internet than my blog. This blog is for me, not for me to show off anything. I know it might come off that way sometimes, but I know what I’m using it for, it’s a tool for clearing out the rubbish in my brain and I haven’t had the need to do that lately. Now I did though.

Externalize your thoughts.

Love,
Cedric

Carpe Vitae

Honesty – The Internal Kind

So I image-googled the word ‘honesty’ just to see which famous quotes would show up (yeah I do that sometimes) and the most popular quote was “Honesty is an expensive gift, don’t expect it from cheap people.” And it’s one of those quotes that sound really good, but the more I think about it the more I realize that I don’t actually know what it means. What do you mean, “cheap people?” People who have no money to share? I guess what the person was trying to say was “honesty comes at a price that not everyone is willing to pay” but wanted to sound cutesy with the way they phrased it.

Ah well, that’s what I get for sticking my head in the dirty river, trying to look for diamonds.

It did get me thinking about honesty, though. The way I think about honesty is a twofold thing, the first being the one everyone talks about – the “other people”-one. That one, I don’t care about at all. I couldn’t care less if people lied to everyone around them or were radically honest, it doesn’t affect me because I truly believe that everyone is entitled to do what they want. The only times you will get disappointed is if your expectations were higher than they should have been and even then it’s not the liar’s fault that you were disappointed, it was yours…meaning if you hadn’t put your expectations that high, you wouldn’t had been disappointed.

People will act the way they will act, and no matter how much you want to resist that fact, nothing will change it. For example, if you know that someone is a compulsive liar and you still trust that person with your deepest, darkest secrets, you don’t really have anything to be upset about, since you already knew how they were.

So that’s the first kind, which is the non-factor one.

The second one is, what I call, internal honesty – or self-honesty. This type of honesty is the one that no one really has, which makes it so ironic when you meet someone whose whole life revolves around external honesty; the type that says things like: “Honesty is the most important thing to me, if you can’t be honest then fuck off!” While that person is the most ignorant person you’ve ever met.

I wrote about it, the last post, the confusion I feel about “Self” and “Identity” when everyone changes who they are on a whim – as soon as they find some reason to. I might be the only person I’ve ever met that doesn’t think this is anything bad but rather something normal and even necessary for societal life to function.

If I treated my mother the same way I treat my best mate, she’d probably kill me…literally. Likewise, if I am the same way towards my male friends as I am with a girl I’m out on a first date with, they would think me weird.

My point is, where do we draw the line of self? Or, more importantly, what is self? What does it mean? What’s the definition of self? This is the main question in life, “who am I?” and before we ask ourselves that question, in a true and HONEST way, we haven’t even come close to the starting line of our life’s journey.

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So real honesty is aimed inward, towards the “core” and it’s used as a spotlight to illuminate all the shaded parts of our internal landscapes. It all starts with that one question and by asking it – and answering it – we start being honest. And then – and only then – do we realize how it feels to be without substance. Sounds great, huh?

Well, I over-dramatize it a bit, but it is very painful and, in a very literal sense, it’s life-altering. We figure out who we are by removing what we’re not, but what we’re not is also what we believe we are, so what we’re removing is actually the thing we identify with – hence, pain.

But to not end on a negative note, what is revealed after we have gone through the trouble of removing the falseness, is the most pure beauty and life-positive and bright future; like a blinding halo of bright light that fills you up in a complete way.

What you will feel is complete gratitude, and that’s the goal of life.

Love,
Cedric

Memento Mori

Catalysts – What Is Me?

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I believe that people can act as catalysts for other people. The think everyone has heard or said the sentence, “he/she brings out the best/worst in me.” I believe that this is when we meet another person that amplifies a part of us, so much so, that we feel like different people when we’re with them.

To the extent I care – I care about being my best, most engaged self when interacting with other people. I like being the one in their life they can look to for answers in a specific field that I’m passionate about. I don’t seek out this role, it’s just something that I try to be when presented with the opportunity. The only times I seek out a leadership role is when I feel it’s indicated and for my own pleasure and development. However, when I am in a leadership position I try to act as a person that amplifies a good side in the people around me. It’s not always possible but I believe that, in most cases, it has more to do with the other person – rather than me. Or maybe that’s just denial talking, who knows?

When you meet a Catalyst you will feel like this person is one of the best people you have ever met in your entire life. Unbeknownst to both them and the people around, you will see something in them that most other people won’t – and most other people (including the catalyst) will not understand what all the fuss is about.

Using myself as an example, I reconnected with one such person today whom I haven’t seen for many months. It was all a bit random, since I thought she was out of the country for an undisclosed amount of time. After spending the late afternoon with her I started walking home and I started thinking about how much I love being around that person and how much better I feel about myself and my life after just those short hours we spent together.

I know that it’s not her, not really anyway, it’s me. I have something in me that comes out only on rare occasions and she has the ability to – unwittingly – tap into that; without using any conscious effort, she digs deep into my personality and finds that part of me that I don’t show anyone. With her, everything is smooth, I am the funniest, smartest, coolest, most handsome SOB in the world. It’s not that I am, really, it’s just that since my mood is so much better (even if it wasn’t bad to begin with) I feel like that about myself. I can conquer the world!

Now, several hours later, the feeling has subsided and I’m back to my normal, boring, dull-witted, lame, not too pleasing to look at-self and I feel like I’ve slipped out of one personality, into another. It’s quite fascinating, to be honest. I zoom out and observe myself now and compare it to who I was a few hours ago and it’s so bizarrely different, it’s hard to fathom.

This makes me think about people who are obsessed with falseness and that believe that external truth is the key to liberation.

What’s so bad about being different with different people? Congruence is overrated and normalcy is dull.

Be whomever you want to be, dude! Who’s to judge?

I mean, when I am with my mother, as opposed to when I’m with my best friend I’m very different. Where do we draw the line on what’s ‘real’ and what’s fake? Is it all me? Or is none of it really me?

What is me? Who am I?

See? It all comes back to that. I’ve said it so many times before, if you want to figure out what’s true, you need to go where no one has gone before. And for all you people thinking honesty is the most desirable trait in the world, look to yourself and tell me you’re 100% honest with yourself. There are two types of honesty, internal and external and it’s the former that’s the important one – and it’s also the rarest one.

But that’s something for another time.

Love,
Cedric

Memento Mori

Life Is Silly – And That’s Beautiful

I’m silly. I really am, but that’s something that comes with the territory. I laugh at stupid things; I laugh loudly, so that everyone turns their head; I talk during the ads in the cinema and make cheeky comments about the hilarity of the commercial; I make stupid faces, make horribly inaccurate impressions of celebrities and make up stories about heroes on wild adventures fighting the dragon to save the damsel in distress.

I do all these things, and more, because it amuses me.

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I used to try to be a serious person, for many years; I used to force myself to be ‘cool’ in order to not look stupid; used to care so much about what other people thought of me. Pathetically so, in fact. I realized something, a few years back however, and it’s that life is to damn short to spend it being worried about other people’s opinions. Even if they talk about you behind their backs, so what? Why do you really care about what they think? Let them think whatever they think. It’s what makes them happy; it’s what gives them purpose to their otherwise pretty dull lives.

This isn’t one of those, “If they can say it behind my back, they should be able to say it to my face”-type of things, it’s simply that if you don’t care, you don’t care. It actually doesn’t change what I think about a person. If I like a person, what they say about me when I’m not around isn’t of any real consequence to me. I believe I have enough integrity so that whatever they can possibly say about me are either complete lies or matters of opinion – and I don’t deal with matters of opinions if those opinions don’t happen to be my own.

Think back on a moment when you’ve been so upset about what another person said about you when you were just being yourself. Think about how much that mattered to you and what you felt in that exact moment…

Are you thinking about it?

Good!

Now try to come up with a real reason why it actually mattered, what they thought.

Can’t think of anything?

That’s right, there is no real reason.

All everyone says is their opinion and opinions, thrown out into empty space, will dissolve like everything else – eventually, that’s just the way of it. The only place that those opinions have any form of matter is in our minds. If I stop thinking about them, they literally disappear. So what are thoughts really, to be so easily destroyed?

I have no idea, and finding out what isn’t nearly as important as to accepting that they do disappear.

It’s all resistance or acceptance. There is nothing else in life and to pretend otherwise is to be in resistance to reality…and that doesn’t sound like a very smart thing to be now, does it? The sad truth though, is that most everyone is resistant to reality and that is the main cause of all suffering in the world. Everything from religious wars to petty relationship arguments can be boiled down to lack of acceptance. If everyone accepted the world as it is, no one would be unhappy.

“But Cedric, what would happen to society if that happened?”

No idea, but no one would actually care, since…yup, you guessed it…everyone would be in acceptance.

So to summarize, I believe that life is too short for seriousness. Just be happy about what is and accept that whatever is, is right.

There is one thing that is sillier than being silly, and that’s trying to pretend to not be silly when one’s natural state of being is silliness.

Something to think about, perhaps.

Love,
Cedric

Carpe Vitae – Memento Mori

Ignorance Is Bliss

Ignorance is the fuel that keeps the machine of society running. Without it, we would all walk away from society and, as a result, society will crumble. There is a truth about ignorance that is irrefutable; the main facet of ignorance is that we are ignorant to the fact that we are ignorant.

The type of ignorance I’m talking about isn’t the one where you don’t have an answer to something – that one is easy to deal with and isn’t of any real consequence. The one I’m talking about is the one where you believe something to be absolutely true that isn’t true; where you think you have all the answers. The main problem with this type of ignorance is that when you get flashed with the actual truth, you will be in so much resistance that you will fight (sometimes literally) in order to defend your standpoint. We go to extreme lengths to deny the fact that we have no fucking clue about anything.

EmilysQuotes.Com-Intelligence-teacher-Mark-Twain

The most ignorant people are the most sure of themselves – this is a fact – and the more sure you are of yourself, the harder it will be for you to give in. We can be proven wrong in so many different ways but still not let go of what we believe is true.

Just to make something unequivocally clear, this is not an admirable trait, nor is it something that one should aspire to develop. It is proof of immaturity and a childish mind. A person who can’t let go is a person who needs to grow up.

I hear it every day, people laying blame and looking externally for answers. Here’s some inside information: There is no outside authority and the only one that can affect the outcome of your life is you. But in order to do this, you need to be open to change.

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Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die…that’s the reality of the world. We are afraid of anything that is not comfortably inside our framework. But the only place where change can take place is outside our established framework. This might sound obvious but if you really think about it – and you’re honest with yourself – when was the last time you did something that was outside your comfort zone? Didn’t think so.

So yeah, that’s how people and the world work.

I’m not saying it’s bad, not at all. In fact, it’s not bad in the slightest. It’s the way it works. Just like the fact that we live in a society where we are forced to do labor in order to survive and where we are herded like sheep to get to the next exciting thing in order to feel alive; it’s just life. I do however feel that life could be so much more enjoyable if we had just opened our eyes just slightly, to see the world around us. To shine a light on the less illuminated parts of our brains in order to find something new.

Not a new car or new gadgets, a new framework. A new way to operate in the world.

Just so happens, I have a different way of looking at the world. This is not arrogance, it’s observance. I can see that no one, I have met, operates in the same way and that makes me sad. Not for me, but for them. They could be so much happier if they had just stopped struggling to get stuff and put some of that energy on changing their lives instead. Their lives aren’t what they own, but what they do.

That’s just how I see it.

Love,
Cedric

Carpe Vitae

Make Things Happen

Whenever I write, it starts the same way; I start with absolutely no idea of what I should write about. That is no excuse not to write though. I haven’t written at all in a long time now, I tend to slip out of the habit from time to time and end up not writing anything for weeks and months. Then other parts of the year I write every day, several times a day.

Today I feel a bit low, for no apparent reason. I’m not feeling guilty about anything, I don’t feel sad about anything in particular. Just sad. Usually, people can’t notice it. Or at least, they don’t point it out to me directly. I think I just need a rest. I haven’t taken the time away from the chaos, that is, my life in a long time. I need a week of recuperating with a few good books and just time alone.

I can’t think!

My brain is mush from being too long in character and focusing on things that don’t really matter in the long run.

I am happy with what I do, though; if I hadn’t been happy I wouldn’t have been here. I don’t feel like doing anything other than what I’m doing at the moment and there are no clear indications, telling me I should be doing something else. Indications never lie. Some people call it instinct, sixth sense or signs from God. I just call it patterns. The patterns are telling me to keep doing what I’m doing and focus on the process.

I hear a lot of complaint from people about their professional lives – whether they mean it or not. I have a very simple answer to everyone: “Then quit!”

Brendon Burchard said: “There are two things that change your life: either something new comes into your life, or something new comes out of you.” Which is probably the most concise way of putting it. Things do occasionally come into our lives but most of us sit around like dormant cattle until something does without any proactivity, whatsoever, in our daily routines.

That’s a good word, proactivity. Proactivity means you’re not waiting for things to happen, you’re trying to make things happen. Wish craft and daydreams mean nothing to you if you don’t act on it. We talk a big game and say we want this and that – but when push comes to shove, we don’t do shit about our circumstance. Our circumstance is simple and I like to say that we don’t have any idea of what we want or where we’re going. We’re following the path that has been laid out to us having no fucking idea where the road leads except that someone else said it was swell.

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The truth is, we end up the same way, whether we become famous movie stars with millions of dollars net worth or homeless beggars fighting rodents for meals. We’re all going to die and the maggots don’t give a shit about our college degrees nor the legacy that we created.

If you don’t like it where you are why do you keep insisting you need to stay there? It’s like we are morbidly fixated with pain and displeasure. We love hating our circumstance and wouldn’t leave it for the world. We pretend that we want happiness and that we do what we do so that we can live “happily ever after,” not realizing that there’s no such thing as happily ever after. The road only leads to one place.

Get off your ass and make something happen in your life.

‘Life is too short’, and all that…

Love,
Cedric

Carpe Vitae
Memento Mori

Worrying About Outcome

Worry is a useless emotion. It’s only in the way and doesn’t serve any purpose than to get you out of the present. I’ve been worried quite a lot recently, until I realised the other day that there’s no point in me being worried. I can’t control the outcome, I can only control how well I do here in the present moment. Looking ahead is good if you have a future goal that you’re working towards, but if you do, then it’s equally important to be able to not dwell on it. If you become outcome dependent to the point where you start imagining scenarios of the future, you’re already fucked! More important is to do your absolute best with whatever you’re tasked with.

Whenever anything is done, it’s done for a purpose. Either it’s done because it’s in line with a future goal or it’s for preventive measures; in simple terms, I do something to avoid pain or to gain pleasure. This is all well and good, but what you don’t realise is that there are other reasons to do things than these two. You can do something, just for the sake of doing it. For the pleasure of the process itself.

Success is not determined or measured by currency, in my opinion. I think success has to do with your internal landscape and how harmonious you feel on the inside. I feel more successful now that I’m making minimum wage in the UK than I did when I was making twice as much in Sweden.

I realised today that I’ve been emotionally invested in a certain outcome; I’ve been struggling with this specific thing for a couple of weeks now and I’ve been hit with disappointment at every turn. I tried to change the way things were handled, tried to work it out in a different way – but no matter how much I tried I couldn’t get it to work. Then I realised something: It wasn’t the outcome the obstacles that were the problem, it was my preferred outcome.

I’ve written about preferred outcome before, but it bears repeating. If you put your mind on something you get attached to it, which is fine. But when you get to a point where you can’t attain that outcome you can, sometimes, be so attached to it that you can’t let go. That’s when you go to your boss or whatever and complain that life is unfair to you…boohoo. If you had, instead, changed your preferred outcome or at least had a different one, you wouldn’t had cared.

outcome-quotes-2You know when you tell your friend how shitty something is and the reaction from them isn’t at all what you wanted? When you wanted them to be raging with you but they instead just shrugged or even said: “Why do you care so much?” That’s when they don’t share your preferred outcome.

That should get you thinking about the preferred outcome that you had, why did it matter so much to you? Why can’t you change it? Why can’t you let go of it?

What if you didn’t…bear with me now…you didn’t have any preferred outcome? :O How would that even be possible, you ask? I would say that it’s extremely possible, if you let go of that filthy ego of yours and just put your love of the process, first instead of last. It’s entirely possible to enjoy even the most dull tasks if you just stopped thinking about the outcome and just do the thing you’re doing. Incidentally, you’re outcome will almost always turn out better than you could have at first imagined if you do.

Something to think about.

Love,
Cedric

Carpe Vitae