What’s The Purpose?

I think I’ve written about ‘purpose’ before, but I can’t be arsed to look right now, and I do have somethings I want to get off my chest.

When people think about their purpose, they usually think about something external, like getting to a certain position at work, donating to charity, etc. This is fine and good in itself – I’m sure it will bring many people pleasure to do that. For me, though, purpose can be a lot simpler than that. The other day I realised that I was starting to find my way back to harmony in my life. Harmony, meaning emotional and mental harmony; my life is pretty hectic, but I’m starting to deal with it now with a peaceful mind.

purposeBy realising this, I also realised something more important, the fact that I wasn’t in harmony. I had been pretending to be harmonious and having a peaceful mind. The dark truth, however, was that I had just been fooling myself. This made me realise how fucking easy it is to just slip back into normalcy and become a whining little bitch like everyone else. It’s like, one day you’re treading the path of peace and prosperity and the next you’re in a pit of despair. I’m being a bit dramatic, but as I’ve stated previously, drama is good for emphasis.

The most important thing is that I’m out of it, or on my way out of it anyway. I’m on my way back to that lovely peace and contentment that I had for such a long time a year or so ago. So, my purpose right now is not getting to a place of peace and harmony or to get to a zenny mindset. My purpose is just to enjoy whatever it is I’m doing and to focus on the present action at hand; to live in the moment or whatever.

The fact is that most people can’t focus on one thing, they need to distract themselves in order to get to the next moment all the time, I wrote about this yesterday. But if you always keep focusing on what’s to come, you’re never enjoying the moment. If you look forward to Friday you’ll never enjoy Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. Once Friday arrives, chances are you will not enjoy that either since you’re now so used to looking forward to things, you’ll be looking forward to Saturday or Sunday.

It’s actually pretty silly if you think about it. Why not just shut your phone off and draw, read, write, sing, dance, anything that keeps you – and requires you to stay – in the moment. It can be stupid shit as well, like cuddling with your pet, go for a walk,  go sit in a park and stare at people (not in a stalkeresque way maybe, though). The last one is a personal favourite of mine. I like to go to a public place and sit there and just watch people go about their lives. I like to imagine myself being them for a bit, thinking about where they’ve been and where they’re going; what’s on their mind and what their worries, fears, hopes and dreams are. It’s silly, but it’s fun and relaxing.

Find your purpose and let it take over; dedicate your every waking moment to your purpose and make sure you stick to it. My life purpose, right now, is very simple, as I said. I’m focusing on doing my utmost in every single situation and moment I am in; I will not squander a single second of my life from now on. My life is too important for that, just like any person’s life is too important to squander.

See the point of this is that you have no real clue who you are or what you really want. I mean, who are you if you don’t know what you want? It should be number one for everyone, even though it rarely is. I believe it’s healthy to feel that slight pang of guilt and shame for not knowing your purpose.

So go out there and find it!

Love,
Cedric

Memento Mori

Living Or Just Alive

I was discussing films with a friend a while ago and she told me that she likes horror movies. I said I don’t like horror movies, because most of the ones I have seen have been made just to scare people; scaring people was the sole purpose of the movie. Meaning, no script, no story, no acting worth mentioning or anything like that. I can’t see past the small detail of the movie being absolute shit just so that I can get the thrill of being jump scared (which I also hate, by the way).

So, why do we like being scared? It’s actually not that complicated, if you think about it. Humans in society live pretty dull lives these days; most of us don’t have to worry about things like food, water, shelter or being attacked or harmed. Most of us are physically safe 100% of our day. Which is fucking awesome! I don’t really think we appreciate it enough, we take it for granted and don’t care to think about the people that are less fortunate. Be grateful!

This comfort has its downsides though, one of them is that we’re bored.

louisck-bored

We’re so bored we feel the need to find escapes from everything. We can sit every day of the week, longing for that thing’ that will bring us some excitement and then just seeking escape from that too.

Everyone has that friend who is constantly on his or her phone. You can’t have a conversation with them because they keep looking down at their messages or scrolling through the news feed of their Facebook. If you don’t have one of these friends, that means you’re that friend. First of all, I think it’s rude as fuck when you’re with someone and can’t focus on that person or relax into the moment so that you need to seek escape from the moment that you’re in. Secondly, for me it’s clear that it’s a sign of immaturity. My definition of maturity is when a person takes responsibility for her emotions as well as her actions; when she would gladly admit being wrong if appropriate and steps up and takes charge and accountability.

“So, how is this relevant to what we were talking about?” I hear you ask. Well I’m glad you brought it up! See, unless it’s one of those super rare occations where the person doesn’t know she’s scattered and has a hard time focusing, I would say that the responsibility of emotions part is highly relevant here. This means that she – indirectly – decided to not doing anything about the fact that she’s being this way. The behaviour, in itself, is repelling and unappealing but it also makes the person come off as being jittery and unstable.

It’s clear to anyone paying attention that people in society are not happy and far worse, we’re also not aware that we’re not happy.

Happiness is actually, still, one of the main answers you get from people when you ask them what they want from life – either directly or indirectly. The sad truth though, is that we don’t really care what emotion we experience, as long as it’s a strong emotion…and fear is the strongest one, by miles. Fear might not make you feel more alive than happiness does, but fear is easier to get ahold of; the world is always fully stocked on fear, whereas love and happiness aren’t.

The reason for this is not that it’s hard to find love or happiness. The reason is simply that love and happiness come from inside; love and happiness comes from being in love and at peace with oneself – whether it’s temporary or permanent. Fear can affect you from outside since it plays on survival instincts and so on.

We put on horror movies to get the temporary thrill of feeling alive for a couple of hours. That’s what we want more than anything in the world – more than happiness, love, sex, toys, gadgets, approval or anything – we want to feel alive!

The reason for that is that we aren’t really…alive I mean.

Something to think about.

Love,
Cedric

Carpe Vitae – Memento Mori

Shyness Is An Excuse

One quality that people find cute and nice is shyness. I personally can’t stand it, I think it’s one of the most unattractive qualities a person could have. I know it’s difficult to talk to new people if you’re not extroverted and I do know that rejection hurts but honestly, I think it’s worth it in the end. Rejection has taught me more than any comfort ever has. The worst part is rarely the actual rejection but rather the anticipation – the fear of rejection – that bothers you.

Imagine that you’re about to jump in the water in a lake to have a swim; you’re standing there on the beach contemplating the best way to go about it. It’s scary, because you know that if you just jump in you’ll get hit by that shock of being immersed in cold water – 0-100 in 0.1 seconds, right? However walking in slowly has the effect that sure you won’t get that bam!-effect but you just prolong that pain-period just because you’re afraid of that shock. I believe that if you just jump in, you will “suffer” for like 5 seconds and then it’s over with. Same goes with asking someone out. If you dance around it for days, weeks or months, you will be miserable for that time and waste your time to the point where you might just dismiss the whole thing completely.

Rather, if you had just asked the person out immediately you would’ve gotten your answer straight away and whether it’s good or bad news, you now know…You now know!

No time wasted.

Rejection-Picture-QuotesAnother positive thing, about being direct and straight to the point, is that a lot of the time it’s more appreciated to be like this, because it’s rare; it’s so rare that the person being approached will probably get a bigger shock than you. This is, at the very least, a fun thing to see.

One thing I want to make clear is that being shy is not the same thing as being introverted. You can be self-confident and open even though you’re introverted. Being introverted just means that you choose not to express every opinion aloud and to talk to everyone you meet. Being an introvert simply means that you prefer sitting in the background and let things play out. You can still be very opinionated and have strong principles and morals, you just don’t care to share it with other people, necessarily. We are, as introverts, still in control of our emotions and feelings.

Being shy, on the other hand, is where you let your emotions and feelings control you; where you still don’t talk to people, but this time it’s because you’re afraid. The fear can be for anything but most commonly it is fear of rejection that’s the bad guy. Fear of rejection comes from insecurity and a sense that we’re not good enough.

Shyness is a trait that we have learnt not something that we were born with. When you were a kid you weren’t shy – not like you are now, anyway – you could go up on stage in a school play and sing the most horrible thing anyone has ever heard, but you didn’t care. Then at some point you got scared into believing that rejection was worse than the excitement of the new thing in front of you. Which is, in my humble opinion, fucking insane! That novelty and excitement is what I live for! I wouldn’t want to live my life if I didn’t have that thrill of risk in my life. I’m not talking about physical risk, but the emotional and mental one. The adrenaline rush is still there and you get the same rush from doing something that isn’t the norm.

When it comes to approaching someone you’re interested in, the worst thing that can happen is that you get a no and, honestly, just fucking suck it up. Grow up and learn to take the rejection, it’s worth it in the end, I promise.

Love,
Cedric

Carpe Vitae

Call It A Comeback

So I haven’t been here in a long time; in fact, I saw that I had a comment on one of my posts from 30/11/2015 that I hadn’t dealt with (sorry about that). There has been a lot of stuff going on in my life that I have been trying to deal with. Most of it has had to do with relationship crap and I haven’t wanted to talk about that here; I knew that if I started writing a post, however, I would end up talking about that, hence why I haven’t started.

Now that’s all behind me though – or mostly anyway – and I’ve just started picking my good habits up again.

It’s a funny thing – love, you never know how it’s going to hit you or when. Sometimes it sneaks up on you and kind of infiltrates your mind and body like a thought from the movie Inception. I found myself in a relationship for 8 months, give or take, that I never intended to.

I haven’t written anything in ages, and that has mostly to do with me trying to avoid looking at my thoughts directly; I didn’t want to get confronted with the reality of my fucked up situation.

Alright, since I find myself having a hard time getting anything written down, I’ll just start writing and see what comes out of it. I believe that the biggest reason that I have difficulties writing currently, is because I haven’t written anything in almost 3 months. It’s so bad, I really hate myself for it and I want to remedy that now.

I used to write daily, sometimes I wrote 3 times a day for different reasons. Now I just go all day basically avoiding the writing. I successfully manage to avoid it without even thinking about it, most days, but today I have had this mild form of guild gnawing at me; a guilt that tells me that it’s time to stop being a bitch. Grab your pen and get to writing.

So here I am now, typing away at my keyboard, not having any idea on what I should write about. Maybe that’s good. Actually I know that’s good, that means I’m not outcome dependent of my content. I’m just writing for the sake of writing.

Whenever you sit down with a project, no matter how small it is, you effectively put yourself in a situation where you have expectations. It’s easy to believe you have no expectations, but it’s actually impossible to not have any expectations. The trick is to try to shift your expectations to something different. Something that you can directly affect and that isn’t dependent on you living up to other people’s expectations.

comeback_kid_by_volcomstar-d4oqoc7If I wrote this to impress other people, then it wouldn’t be good. I would just spend the majority of the time comparing what I’ve written to past works or to other people’s works. Looking at it from a perspective of a people pleaser instead of what I should be doing – judging it by the process. That’s the only expectation I have right now, I want to become one with the process – with the flow and the creation. I don’t want to be stuck on: “What can I write about?” because that’s treacherous and will only lead to your own disappointment.

Disappointment is another interesting topic. When you’re expecting a certain outcome and reality falls short of that, you become disappointed. But see, that’s only because you’re setting expectations too high. And that, in turn, is only because you think you deserve an outcome on that level. Which means, Ego.

I found myself the other day, thinking about future jobs or travel destinations. I was asked, by one of my best friends, to move to Australia because she lives there. When asked I started imagining going and living there. Weather, job, people, culture etc. The jobs part got me thinking though, I realised that I didn’t want to take a shitty job. I felt like I ‘deserved’ something more than that. Which, of course, is quite silly since who am I to judge that?

I don’t know, man, it’s weird how even people who consider themselves pretty detached from ego find themselves in situations where they judge through ego. This is another funny topic, but I think I’ll save that for next time.

Sorry again for being absent for so long. I’ll be here every day from now on.

Love,
Cedric

Carpe Vitae

Wake Up

Sometimes it feels like I’m ‘off the path’; like I’m not doing what I’m supposed to do. To say it plainly, I sometimes feel like I should be doing something else. When this happens I sometimes need to, literally, remind myself that there’s no such thing as being off one’s path. There is only being on the path and knowing it and being on the path and not knowing it. Just because I can’t see where I’m going doesn’t mean I’m not going exactly where I’m supposed to be going.

I have no idea where this path leads at the moment, and that’s what’s scary to me; I might end up in a miserable situation where I’m on the verge of suicide; I might be fired from my job, dumped by my girlfriend, eaten by sharks, kidnapped by ISIS or grounded by mummy. Whatever the case might be, I’m supposed to do whatever it is I’m doing presently. The reason I know that is because it is. Whatever is, is right, right? Therefore, who am I to complain?

I’ve strayed from where I used to be, but that doesn’t mean I’m not exactly where I’m supposed to be. I’m here to learn something, to observe something or whatever. It’s only a waste of time if I don’t stop to think about where I am and not appreciate what’s going on around me. Even then it wouldn’t be a waste of time, it would only feel that way.

I can’t see the randomness other people see; it doesn’t make sense to me when people say that they think everything happens for a reason but then complains about the supposedly ‘bad’ stuff happens in their lives. They only want to see it if it’s a ‘good’ thing, never when it affects their mood negatively.

Some people use it as a coping mechanism. If something bad happens, they say it out loud to themselves to squeeze some meaning into the bad event. It’s the new age version of “God works in mysterious ways.” Instead of accepting that something just happened and that you have no fucking clue of why, you try to make it meaningful and stuff. It’s silly and childish. Grow up and learn to deal with your fear instead of hiding behind platitudes like that.

Phew, that felt good.

Anyway, it all comes down to the same thing. Not seeing things for what they really are. Blinding ourselves to these obvious facts is something that we do on a daily basis and probably have done since childhood.

We learn at the age of like, 8 or 9 that questions like “What’s the meaning of life?” are silly and not something one should ask. But why the fuck not? Isn’t that like one of those questions that should be asked and answered before we do anything else?

Err, we’re going a little bit off topic, but the point is that we don’t think for ourselves. We do what everyone else does because everyone else is doing it. And everyone else before us did what everyone else back then, did. It goes on and on, all the way back to the first society of humans. We’re silly fucking creatures that think we know better than any other and that we are worth so much more than any other.

We’re the dumbest of all creatures. For one reason: That we think we’re the smartest.

Love,
Cedric

Carpe Vitae

Belief Is Arbitrary

The best possible thing. To whom? In what context? It’s interesting to me whenever someone brings up the topic of right and wrong – good and bad; when they feel the need to utter an opinion on what is going on around them. The reason it’s funny is that, to me, it’s obvious that right and wrong, good and bad don’t exist outside of context. All of them require circumstance and preference. “Ultimate Good” is a lie.

OK, that might need some explanation.

When you’re saying you want something or don’t want something you’re comparing it to your preferred outcome; you’re saying that another thing or outcome is better or worse than the one you’ve just mentioned. But what is that based upon? Is it based on human instinct? Human need? DNA coding? I have no idea, but what I do know is that it’s nothing static.

This might be obvious to some, but to most it’s not. Most people talk about their preferences – most of the time it revolves around what they don’t want – they talk about it like it’s something permanent; like it’s something that could never be changed. I think it’s silly to cling to a preference so much so as to completely ignore the possibility of that simple thing of changing preference rather than trying to affect the outcome.

Situations are, from experience, way harder to change than is your own personal preference. You can change an opinion, but you can’t change other people – it’s impossible. The only way anyone change is by themselves. Whatever the reason behind the change is, it’s ultimately a decision – conscious or subconscious – by the person that changed.

Opinion and belief are fluid, they aren’t static. If they were, they wouldn’t be so difficult to try to maintain. How many religious people cheat on their religious rules? Most, is my guess. Don’t worry, it’s completely natural. If we want to do something and some old book tells us that it’s not okay, it’s hard (even for the devout ones) to take it seriously…just saying.

I’m waiting for a pretty big decision, right now, and most people ask me about it. I play along and act all worked up about it, but truth be told, I’m not. I see it as any other thing. I’m sure that if I don’t get the “preferred outcome” then I wasn’t supposed to get it. Right? I mean, how could it be otherwise? Silly silly.

I’m following the motions of the steering mechanism of life; a mere passenger on the voyage of life. That’s some philosophical shit, right there.

Drop-the-illusion-of-control

My point is that there’s no point in worrying or getting worked up about something that is outside of one’s control. I certainly don’t. I used to, but not anymore. I think most people would increase their peace of mind and happiness, exponentially, if they could just let go of the need to try to control things. If you’ve read my blog before, you’ve probably seen posts about that. Control is an illusion and even if it seems like you’re the one making the decisions, there’s no way for you to prove that it actually is. Belief. That’s what makes you cling to, even, the idea of controlling the idea of you controlling things. It’s just silly. Belief is arbitrary just like everything else about us; personality, tastes, opinions, relationships, preferences etc.

Live your life now. Don’t waste your fucking time on living it in an imaginary land of what-ifs. Nor should you waste time in the pretend world that’s called future. The future, as I mentioned in my last post, doesn’t exist. There’s no way to predict it (unless you’re a wizard that can see the future) so why bother trying?

Love,
Cedric

Memento Mori

Now Is All You’ve Got – Work With It.

Tomorrow is a pretty big day for me – at least that’s what most people would say. For me it’s just another day; another day to enjoy in life. See, most people in the world spend every moment looking forward to the next one; the whole day looking forward to the day after. It’s a well known cliché that if you spend all your time looking forward to the next moment you’re never going to enjoy the moment that you’re in.

It’s one of those things that’s a cliché for a reason, because it’s actually physically impossible to focus on two things at the same time. Therefore, if you focusing on the next moment, you’re missing the one you’re in right now.

So tomorrow I have this big thing I should look forward to, and I do, it’s just that I don’t focus on it. I think about it, might get a little excited, but then I let it go – I move on. I can’t affect what’s going to happen tomorrow and I’m not going to squander the opportunity of enjoying today because something in the future holds potential.

“Don’t think that the moment coming up is more important than the moment that you’re in.” – Kyle Cease

I think that’s the quote anyway. In any case, it’s true. You can unwittingly spend your entire life looking forward to the moment after the one you’re in if you’re not careful – most people do. The problem with always doing that is that as soon as you get to the moment you  were looking forward to you’ll be too preoccupied with looking forward to the moment after that one so you’ll not enjoy the long awaited one either. Damned silly.

The funny thing about the future is that it doesn’t exist. Nor does the past. The only thing we actually do have is the present.

present_moment

I have received a lot of advice regarding this thing for tomorrow and I have barely taken any of them. I’m confident that I’ll do great and do my best. So confident, in fact, that I’m sure I’ll nail it. If I still don’t get the desired outcome (perceived desired outcome, anyway) then it wasn’t meant for me in the first place.

I’m never nervous or feel anxious; not because I have ‘transcended fear’ or anything silly like that. Simply because I know I always do what I’m supposed to do, even if others don’t agree with me. I never feel that I have slipped up or missed out on anything. I know that what I’m supposed to get I will get; I know I will experience what I’m supposed to experience. There simply is no other option for me. To say otherwise is to say that the universe made a mistake, which to my ears, is too absurd to even think about.

Most advice I ever get revolve around being prepared for an potential outcome. I have always found it very hard to adjust to that type of mindset. It’s just stressful and will make you hold onto something in a potential future that might not even come to pass. In effect, you’re holding onto something that has its foundation based in worst case scenarios and past experiences. In other words, ridiculous.

Some people might give me grief about this, citing that it’s always good to be prepared for worst case scenarios and to have a backup plan. Me, I always only have one plan and its my only plan. If I don’t succeed I at least get a good experience from it – now I know. I believe I wrote about that in a previous post – being ready, not prepared. I never prepare, but I’m always ready.

My readiness is based in confidence, not in my skills or my ability, but in the fact that I know I’ll always do my best.

You either win or you learn.

Love,
Cedric

Carpe vitae

The Only Road That I Have Ever Known

Aimlessness. I’ve been thinking about that recently, and when I say I’ve been thinking about something I mean that this particular thing came to mind and from that point I tried to observe it in the world. It occurred to me a week ago that no one knows what they want. Most people think they do, but do they really? They say they want money, more stuff, a better job and the like. But why? When asked, most people would say something about security or some such.

Truth is, it doesn’t matter what reasons they give, only that they give them. I’ve had so many discussions recently, with various people, who tell me about their dreams and aspirations. In 99% of the cases they all sound like the same thing to me; they sound like another one of society’s carrot sticks that it dangles in front of our eyes. Not one of these aspirations are self-made or self-verified. Ironically, the few times I actually hear something worth picking up on it usually comes from a person in a very irrational state of mind. Most likely, this person is in a deep depression or an advanced form of anxiety. The state of mind usually revolves around feeling trapped or feeling like there’s no hope to their situation.

I’m feeling an irrational bond with the Cheshire cat from Lewis Carrol’s Alice in Wonder land. Cheshire cat Mainly because he is the smartest character in the book while he appear one of the craziest.

Truth about him is that he’s probably, also, the sanest person in the whole book; saner than Alice herself. He understands and accepts that reality as he knows it, is not reality at all. He also guides Alice in the best and honest way possible.

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.”
“I don’t much care where –”
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”
– Lewis Carrol, Alice in Wonderland.

That short conversation between Alice and the Cheshire cat sums up the state of the world today. Everyone is eager to get somewhere, but no one has a fucking clue where they want to end up. We just want to go, despite the fact that we have no idea what we hope to find where we end up.

I’ve said it so many times: Figure out what you want first, figure out why you want that second and then, maybe, if you still feel the urge, you can go get it. If we don’t we end up chasing things we don’t want or need only to attain it and find something else that we need to get in order to be happy.

This is, in my opinion what creates mid-life crises. Waking up at 40-50 years old having obtained and attained everything you desired, only to realise that you’re still no better off now than you were 20-30 years ago, when you started the chasing.

When people see these cute pictures online depicting “The Rat Race” of a guy chasing money or whatever, most people laugh at it, as if they aren’t themselves stuck in it. “Oh wow, unlucky guy. Good thing I’m not as dumb.” You think to yourself while standing in queue to the unemployment agency. Everyone is the same, no one is different.

I recommend you watch Modern Times by Charlie Chaplin and look beyond the humour and see the dark reality that is being depicted. We’re sheep, following the herd.

The only way to stop being a sheep in today’s society is to become the shepherd. Both have something in common though: They’re both still on the farm land.

Love,
Cedric

Memento Mori

Rationalisation and Honesty

Rationale. Thinking is done by externalising. I have said that multiple times here on the blog. It’s just so strange to me that more people don’t realise that most of the actual ‘thinking’ that they’re doing is nothing more than simple rationalisation. If you have an opinion about something you might ask yourself, “why do I have this opinion?” and think that you’re coming up with the real reason behind it. Truth is, though, that what you’re doing is rationalising the fear that lies as a foundation for the opinion itself.

We are extremely slow of letting go of old habits and, even when we question our habits, our subconscious work tirelessly to explain away why we do what we do. It’s silly, really. So silly, in fact, that I feel a pang of embarrassment just writing about it. The sad truth isn’t that we can’t think, it’s that we won’t; we blatantly refuse to shine flashlight where illumination is needed. We refuse, because to do so is scary and we would rather suffer as slaves than to face this truth.

I’m being a bit dramatic, as usual, but this is a dramatic business and it feels like the only way to get through to most people.

Honesty is another funny topic that I’ve been thinking a lot of, recently. I am sure that if you ask anyone in the world whether or not they value honesty in any type of relationship, they would say yes. However, when it comes down to it, most people can’t deal with the harsh truth. Even when they ask for it and you tell them do they really want it.

“I just want you to be honest with me.”
“You’re fat.”
“You’re so mean!!”

The most ironic part for me comes when you start talking about what type of honesty is most important, however. I don’t feel like external honesty is that important; I lie from time to time, just like anyone else does – I might lie a bit more than others due to the fact that I know about it, and I don’t care so much – but we all lie to some degree. But that type of honesty/dishonesty is, for me, irrelevant. The type of honesty I value over all other things is self-honesty. I mean, who fucking cares that you lied to your spouse or your mum or your kids or the cops? If you’re honest with yourself then nothing else really matters.

Life isn’t a karma point driven game; you won’t get a better seat in heaven by acting like a saint in this life. The only thing you should focus on is finding out what the hell is going on in your life. That’s my opinion anyway. Whenever I present this idea to people, they just look at me like I had just said that “Hitler had a few good ideas, still.” Maya rules supreme over the world and probably will do until the end of time; there’s nothing to suggest that she is even close to getting de-throned.

Maya = The Goddess of delusion and misdirection.

The cool thing about Maya, though, is that as soon as you start seeing her for what she is and how complete her rule is, she starts dissipating; she starts dissolving into the nothingness that she always was. It’s quite extraordinary, really. So the way out of delusion is to first realise that you’re in it, second is to accept that you have no control over your life and that you never had; Maya was in control all along.

I don’t know what I’m babbling about anymore.

Love,
Cedric

Memento Mori
Carpe Vitae

Happy Thoughts…Happy Thoughts

Someone once said to me that he believed that it was in our DNA to be negative. I wonder if he still believes that. It’s one of those ridiculous ideas that sounds like they could be right if not examined enough. Of course, it’s utter nonsense and doesn’t even deserve second thought.

As to negativity, all I can say is that it’s an extremely useless emotion.

It’s very common to hear and read these cliché quotes about not being negative and so on. Very few offer any kind of explanation as to why one should be positive instead of negative. I guess they just think it’s obvious. It isn’t though. I mean really, why is negativity really worse than being positive? carnival-of-positive-thinking

There’s no clear reason as to why. We are just brought up to think negativity is bad and being positive is good. Fair enough…but why then are so many people so fucking negative all the time?

Here are my thoughts on the matter:

I think being positive trumps being negative any day of the week. That’s for one reason. Since any mood and emotion requires energy I’d rather spend mine on the creative and fun emotions than the destructive and sad ones. Because let’s face it, negativity is destructive. It comes from a place of unhappiness and all it does is feeds the unhappiness to the extent that it spreads to other people most of the time. Here’s the thing, when we’re experiencing a strong emotion, it’s contagious; it spreads to everyone near you and fills the space with that energy.

Knowing this, why would one want to fill a whole space with negative energy? Why not instead do your best in making every day cool and new and fun. I mean, you’re going to waste the energy, anyway, so why not use it for something else? It’s actually quite silly, really. I’m one of the most energetic, positive and happy people I know and I get told off and joked about because I’m “always so fucking cheery.” Fucking yeah I am! I don’t give a shit, I’m not happy for you, I’m happy because I’m happy. I don’t try to be this way, I just am this way. Then again, I really don’t bother with other people’s moods that much. I focus on my own and let that be my main concern.

One thing people don’t realise is that you can control your emotions. We can, but we don’t; we let them control us. Don’t believe me? While sitting there, reading, pause for a second and think back on the happiest memory you’ve ever had; relive that memory in your mind for a few seconds and see if your mood hasn’t changed at least a tiny bit. See? That’s one way of controlling your mood. Now, do you imagine that it would be difficult to do the same thing but with a bad memory? Probably not.

The mind controls everything, that is something we don’t appreciate enough. I mean your mind even controls physical pain, how could we ever imagine that it wouldn’t control the emotional and mental health?

So to summarise, if I have to sit around and think about stuff, I have the universe of possibilities; why would I then choose something negative, when I can just have fun with my thinking time? It’s actually quite silly when you think about it. So much so that I’m thinking about not posting this here at all… I probably will, anyway just because I promised myself to keep blogging.

All these affirmations and mental exercises to keep yourself from thinking negative thoughts are actually not that bad. I know I’m running the risk of coming off as spiritually correct *shudder* but that’s actually so.

Try it, it’s not going to hurt you to be positive, I promise. If for nothing else, just to be different from every other boring fucking person in this world, right?

Love,
Cedric

Carpe Vitae