I think I’ve written about ‘purpose’ before, but I can’t be arsed to look right now, and I do have somethings I want to get off my chest.
When people think about their purpose, they usually think about something external, like getting to a certain position at work, donating to charity, etc. This is fine and good in itself – I’m sure it will bring many people pleasure to do that. For me, though, purpose can be a lot simpler than that. The other day I realised that I was starting to find my way back to harmony in my life. Harmony, meaning emotional and mental harmony; my life is pretty hectic, but I’m starting to deal with it now with a peaceful mind.
By realising this, I also realised something more important, the fact that I wasn’t in harmony. I had been pretending to be harmonious and having a peaceful mind. The dark truth, however, was that I had just been fooling myself. This made me realise how fucking easy it is to just slip back into normalcy and become a whining little bitch like everyone else. It’s like, one day you’re treading the path of peace and prosperity and the next you’re in a pit of despair. I’m being a bit dramatic, but as I’ve stated previously, drama is good for emphasis.
The most important thing is that I’m out of it, or on my way out of it anyway. I’m on my way back to that lovely peace and contentment that I had for such a long time a year or so ago. So, my purpose right now is not getting to a place of peace and harmony or to get to a zenny mindset. My purpose is just to enjoy whatever it is I’m doing and to focus on the present action at hand; to live in the moment or whatever.
The fact is that most people can’t focus on one thing, they need to distract themselves in order to get to the next moment all the time, I wrote about this yesterday. But if you always keep focusing on what’s to come, you’re never enjoying the moment. If you look forward to Friday you’ll never enjoy Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. Once Friday arrives, chances are you will not enjoy that either since you’re now so used to looking forward to things, you’ll be looking forward to Saturday or Sunday.
It’s actually pretty silly if you think about it. Why not just shut your phone off and draw, read, write, sing, dance, anything that keeps you – and requires you to stay – in the moment. It can be stupid shit as well, like cuddling with your pet, go for a walk, go sit in a park and stare at people (not in a stalkeresque way maybe, though). The last one is a personal favourite of mine. I like to go to a public place and sit there and just watch people go about their lives. I like to imagine myself being them for a bit, thinking about where they’ve been and where they’re going; what’s on their mind and what their worries, fears, hopes and dreams are. It’s silly, but it’s fun and relaxing.
Find your purpose and let it take over; dedicate your every waking moment to your purpose and make sure you stick to it. My life purpose, right now, is very simple, as I said. I’m focusing on doing my utmost in every single situation and moment I am in; I will not squander a single second of my life from now on. My life is too important for that, just like any person’s life is too important to squander.
See the point of this is that you have no real clue who you are or what you really want. I mean, who are you if you don’t know what you want? It should be number one for everyone, even though it rarely is. I believe it’s healthy to feel that slight pang of guilt and shame for not knowing your purpose.
So go out there and find it!