Worry is a useless emotion. It’s only in the way and doesn’t serve any purpose than to get you out of the present. I’ve been worried quite a lot recently, until I realised the other day that there’s no point in me being worried. I can’t control the outcome, I can only control how well I do here in the present moment. Looking ahead is good if you have a future goal that you’re working towards, but if you do, then it’s equally important to be able to not dwell on it. If you become outcome dependent to the point where you start imagining scenarios of the future, you’re already fucked! More important is to do your absolute best with whatever you’re tasked with.
Whenever anything is done, it’s done for a purpose. Either it’s done because it’s in line with a future goal or it’s for preventive measures; in simple terms, I do something to avoid pain or to gain pleasure. This is all well and good, but what you don’t realise is that there are other reasons to do things than these two. You can do something, just for the sake of doing it. For the pleasure of the process itself.
Success is not determined or measured by currency, in my opinion. I think success has to do with your internal landscape and how harmonious you feel on the inside. I feel more successful now that I’m making minimum wage in the UK than I did when I was making twice as much in Sweden.
I realised today that I’ve been emotionally invested in a certain outcome; I’ve been struggling with this specific thing for a couple of weeks now and I’ve been hit with disappointment at every turn. I tried to change the way things were handled, tried to work it out in a different way – but no matter how much I tried I couldn’t get it to work. Then I realised something: It wasn’t the outcome the obstacles that were the problem, it was my preferred outcome.
I’ve written about preferred outcome before, but it bears repeating. If you put your mind on something you get attached to it, which is fine. But when you get to a point where you can’t attain that outcome you can, sometimes, be so attached to it that you can’t let go. That’s when you go to your boss or whatever and complain that life is unfair to you…boohoo. If you had, instead, changed your preferred outcome or at least had a different one, you wouldn’t had cared.
You know when you tell your friend how shitty something is and the reaction from them isn’t at all what you wanted? When you wanted them to be raging with you but they instead just shrugged or even said: “Why do you care so much?” That’s when they don’t share your preferred outcome.
That should get you thinking about the preferred outcome that you had, why did it matter so much to you? Why can’t you change it? Why can’t you let go of it?
What if you didn’t…bear with me now…you didn’t have any preferred outcome? :O How would that even be possible, you ask? I would say that it’s extremely possible, if you let go of that filthy ego of yours and just put your love of the process, first instead of last. It’s entirely possible to enjoy even the most dull tasks if you just stopped thinking about the outcome and just do the thing you’re doing. Incidentally, you’re outcome will almost always turn out better than you could have at first imagined if you do.
Something to think about.